Sigh

As I sit here alone on another Saturday night, eating dinner and ice cream with Netflix, I just have to wonder.

Wonder where’s the balance of I know the Lord is a GOOD GOOD father, and loves to delight us and  gives us the desires of our hearts , and the other side of the coin of no matter how much we may want something it  may or may not be His best for us.

In this particular situation I’m thinking about, I trust Him but the not knowing is driving me crazy.

I also wonder why/ how  the church has been so slack in caring for the singles?
Why not invite us to a dinner at home or out occasionally so we don’t eat alone?
Why not include us in game nights and etc?

After working all day, plus doing all the grocery shopping, cooking annnnd cleaning and trying to keep up on housework, car maintenance, bills, health, etc ... I find myself too exhausted to try to make plans with others that fall through. Or continuously make the effort to plan stuff.

I’ve came to a point where I’ve stopped chasing people and realized they have multiple ways to contact me. (Hello, social media ... they can fb message me, text me, snap me, call me, instagram message me, email me... etc...). Putting forth (seemingly ALL)  the effort to initiate hanging out got exhausting.

But coming home to an empty house every night and not having anyone to process with or just play games with to decompress or not remembering the last hug you got is a different exhaustion.